If I said these things, I’d be a liar:
1. It hurts when I eat. So I don’t.
2. My inability to cook brings all the boys to the yard. And they’re like, it’s better than yours. I can teach you, but i’d have to charge.
3. My cat and I; we have the best conversations.
4. After 7 [...]
Entries Tagged as ‘Uncategorized’
October 30, 2009
Things I wish I could HONESTLY say, but I can’t.
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: pale skin, satire, Comedy, Funny, blogs, pale girl, work, girls, Midwest, Minnesota, life lessons, good people, liars, tan, cats, funny people, tan skin, duck hunting, Minneapolis, Atmosphere, hippie, dreadlocks, locks, Easy Mac, Lists, honesty, skinny jena, skinny jeans, jealous, david sedaris, vegans, ovaries, crying, my milkshake, all the boys to the yard, teach you, teachers, talking to cats, pale skinned women, co-workers, commenatary, WNBA, women suck, mn, safest cities to live, Westside Connection
October 24, 2009
DId your Facebook Status make the BEST OF list this week?
I scoured the world of FACEBOOK (aka the planet’s alternate reality) and found the BEST Facebook Status Updates of the week (Oct 17-Oct 23, 2009) . Check it out below…is one of these statuses yours???
1. (Name) lost custody of my kids today :( On a positive note, I am free this weekend. Who wants to go clubbing?? [...]
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: alaska, bad parents, bed bath and beyond, Best of, buying a house, candy, clubbing, Comedy, dill pickle chips, dogs, drive by, drunk girls, facebok, facebook, Funny, gas, H1N1, halloween, halloween costumes, holla, holler, jokes, kids, marine biologist, marriage, marrying cousins, pale girls, pale skin, pee, satire, sexy halloween costumes, suckas, swine flu, taco bell, tootsie pops
October 2, 2009
Important Facebook DON’TS
Please don’t commit these hideous Facebook crimes. If you are currently guilty, stop now before the whole world becomes aware of your apparent lack of Facebook etiquette.
Remember, these aren’t mere suggestions, they are warnings. Stop now or be judged later by the Facebook Gods – they are fierce, unforgiving and may sentence you to eternity [...]
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: adults and facebook, advice, bad facebook friends, befriending, BFF, causes, Comedy, computer tips, couples, cyber stalking, cyberstalking, depression, empathize, facebook, facebook dos and donts, facebook etiquette, facebook for dummies, facebook gods, facebook pictures, facebook status updates, facebrag, fake, fake people, Farkle, fugly people, Funny, Humor, in a relationship, internet dangers, jealousy, kids and facebook, kind of a big deal, myspace, myspace is over, pale girls, pale skin, reality, satire, social networking, social networking tips, stabbing, status updates, therapy, tips, TMI, Too Much information, vegetarians, violence
July 11, 2009
K-Dawg and JoJo Episode 2 featuring TANIKA!
Check out K-Dawg and JoJo EPISODE 2 – two parts (click on both videos below) where these crazy hoes introduce their new “Blackvocate,” Tanika. Yes, these girls are as dumb as they look. Watch as they invite Tanika in and ask her an array of ridiculous questions in order to UP their street cred!
PART I
PART [...]
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: 2pac, al sharpton, apple bottom jeans, banana republic, beyonce, blackvocate, boots with the fur, Comedy, fake, fake ass hoes, girls behaving badly, Girls gone wild, haters, hating, hip hop, improvised sketch, jcrew, master p, middle class, Midwest, million man march, oprah, pale, pale girls, palegurl, phoenix, phoenix comedy, racialist, satire, satirical comedy, shuge knight, silk the shocker, sketch comedy, sketch writing, sketches, sticky icky, street cred, talk shows, the view, weed, white, Women, writing
June 26, 2009
Pale Gurl…same jokes…new venue! Check it!
Don’t get burned! I’m only being real.
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May 19, 2009
Let’s DATE!
Would you go through this for love? Here, Xena tries to find love by paying a speed dating “expert” $2, 000. LET’S DATE!
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: bitch, bitches, Comedy, comedy sketches, dating, dating advice, dating service, foot fetish, Funny, funny videos, gay porn, improv, live comedy, love, mean girls, meet up, mountain dew, online dating, pale, pale girl, pale skin, pale women, porn, satire, single ladies, single men, single women, sketch comedy, snl sketches, speed dating, stalkers, strippers, world of warcraft, xena, You tube, youtube
April 7, 2009
MOMS GONE WILD!
It’s Friday night, do you know where your mom is? Sure you do. She’s at the bar with her “friend” Barb dancing to the musical genius that is Shaggy.
This is what you’ll find throughout America’s Heartland during fishing and hunting season. MOMS GONE WILD!
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: bars, barsexuals, busted, caught on tape, Comedy, dance dance revolution, dance moves, dance videos, dancing, dancing with the stars, drunk, drunk behavior, drunken behavior, drunken diaries, fishing season, fishing widows, friday night, Funny, funny blogs, funny videos, Girls gone wild, gossip, hip hop, hip hop dance, hip hop moms, Humor, hunting, hunting widows, it wasn't me, just dance, just say no, life, living on the edge, milf, minnesota twins, moms gone wild, my mom, owned, shaggy, shake them dice and roll them, stuff drunk people like, stuff white people life, stuff white people like, the effects of alcohol, things that make you go hmm, vfw, wine coolers
April 7, 2009
Dancing With The Stars…Midwest Edition.
Dancing with the Midwestern Stars of the VFW! Shake those MOM JEANS!
Filed under Uncategorized
Tags: american idol, barsexuals, busted, caught on tape, club kids, clubs, Comedy, cool moms, cougars, dance, dance dance revolution, dancing, dancing with the stars, drunk people., fashionista, feel the beat, flash dance, freak dancing, fun, Funny, gossip, grinding, hip hop dance, hot moms, Humor, interpretive dance, it wasn't me, just dance, lady gaga's mom, life, Midwest, milfs, Minnesota, minnesota nightlife, minnesota twins, mom dance, mom dancing, mom gets owned, mom jeans, moms, my poker face, news, nightlife, owned, prairie land, shaggy, small towns, so you think you can dance, to the beat of a different drummer, vfw, what not to wear, wine coolers
March 19, 2009
Exclusive Interview with the OCTOMOM!
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Tags: satire, Comedy, Humor, Funny, current events, videos, parenting, octomom, nadya, octuplets, octopussy, nadya suleman, nadia suleman, babies, mulitiple births, funny videos, sketch comedy, octo, comic, pop culture, radar online, octuplet mom, octo mom, octomother, mothers, octuplets scandal, octuplets video, nadya suleman video, octomom video, octomom parady, multiple births, jon and kate plus 8, motherhood, parenting tips, interviews with nadya suleman, octomom interview, exclusive octomom interview, octuplet interview, gloria albright, octomom scandal, octuplet nurses, octomom childcare, octomom controversy, octomom news, nadya suleman news, dr. phil nadya suleman, octuplets mother
September 22, 2008
You make me NOT want to go Outback tonight…
Last night I ate at Outback Steakhouse. As always my food was pretty tasty; however, the service I received was just annoying. Having previously been a server myself for over six years, I often empathize with my server and tip well over 20 percent at each restaurant. Normally, it would take A LOT for me to complain [...]
Filed under According to a Pale Gurl, Uncategorized
Tags: annoying people, comedians, Comedy, creative nonfiction, crime, crimes, douche bags, douchers, dumb people, etiquette lessons, food, food delivery, food safety, fun stories, Funny, GEN Y blogs, gen Y writers, generation y, generation y bloggers, generation y blogs, gossip, health, heinous crimes, Humor, innappropriate, meat, morale of the story, morales, mtv, networking, news, nonfiction, not funny, nutrition, outback, outback steak house, pale, purgatory, restaurants, satire, server crimes, server horror stories, server stories, servers, showtime at the apollo, sirloin steak, smoke breaks, steak, steakhouse, steaks, studid peole, stupid people, talking, true life, true stories, unfun, vegetarian, waiter, waiter horror stories, waiters, waitress, writers
