As Summer quickly approaches and I prepare to be forced into a swim suit yet again, I sit reluctant. I cringe to think of hearing the same ol’ pale comments again like – “Wow you’re so white you’re glowing” or “Geez girl, get some sun” or “Are you Powder’s sister?” And with each comment I am forced to hold back my urge to throw sand in the mouths of each of these pale haters as they openly ridicule my skin tone.
I don’t mind being pale, and I think I will appreciate my skin tone more as I grow older and am spared from premature wrinkling. BUT, there’s always a but, it would be nice if people would just accept that some people either can’t tan or don’t want to. I know this is a novel idea, but let’s just drop this whole pale hate and move on! If I can accept the burning skin smell of those tan fanatics, can’t they accept the virginal smell of my creamy white complexion!?! Just because you may rub baby oil onto your skin before going out into the sun and I may vigorously rub an entire bottle of SPF 100 onto my skin that doesn’t make us completely different. The pales and the tans should come together and learn from each other. Tans can learn that pale is not some kind of disgusting look of death and pales can learn that tanning fanatics (or technical tanners as I like to call them) aren’t as dumb and vain in life as they appear to be about the sun.
Oh no! I forgot my beloved SPF in my hotel room. This is the worst vacation ever!
If so, I think we have something here that you might like!
The Office Deadline! Enjoy and feel free to leave your comments (no haters, please!). Each comment will go to a good cause that helps to feed the egos of PALE GURLS. Thank you.
I know this is a rather disgusting topic to discuss, but I just have to throw it out to the blogosphere to see if anyone knows which woman in my office has been dumping and running? It never fails that every time I enter a restroom stall at work, I find something left behind by the stall’s previous inhabitant. So here is a little note I’ve written to the woman in my office who can’t seem to remember to flush her deuces. I hope she will read this and see the error of her ways. Or if any of you know who she is please feel free to rat her out. Thanks.
Dear Irresponsible Dumper,
I realize you are probably a very busy woman and may sometimes feel as though there aren’t enough hours in the day. Believe me, many women and men feel that same way; however, that is no excuse for your blatant disrespect of our public restroom at work. It only takes a few seconds to turn around and make sure that all of your “business” has been flushed. I really don’t appreciate walking in and seeing your poo. You may be proud of your regular bowels and that is fine, but that doesn’t mean you need to share it with the rest of the office. Maybe you’re thrilled that Fiber One has finally made you a regular gal. You may even become so excited that after dropping a deuce, you run out of the bathroom do some kind of shit dance, but please save it for your bathroom at home. In this office we live by one modo – IF IT’S BROWN (or any other color really) FLUSH IT DOWN! I’m warning you now, if you continue this negligent bathroom behavior, the Poop Gods will come into your bedroom at night and poor dirty toilet water into your mouth. I know it seems harsh, but I didn’t make the rules, the Poop Gods did and I try not to mess with anyone who has such doo doo power.
Sincerely,
PaleGurl
